Kekkonshiki

The third day of spring was a bit chilly for a wedding.  But the sun was shining and the skies were blue and the couple tying the knot were gorgeous.  My friends Taka and Natsumi honored me with an invitation to their traditional Japanese kekkonshiki at the Oharano Shrine in Nishikyo-ku in the southwest corner of Kyoto.  People come to this 1,100-year-old shrine in particular to pray for a good love match and good marriage, so this was an appropriate venue for their wedding.

I arrived with my friend and date for the day, Keiko just before 10:00AM.  Nishikyo-ku is really the countryside on the edge of a lush forest.  I noticed how quiet it was immediately.  The only sound was my shoes/her zōri on the gravel and the swish of fabric from her kimono.  After a cup of ocha the 30 or so guests went out to the stone gate to greet Taka and Natsumi as they arrived.

They were ravishing in their traditional wedding clothes.  Natsumi in her uchikake kimono and wataboshi veil seemed to be floating rather than walking.  Taka looked like a nobleman from another era in his pleated, striped kimono.  There are so many subtle details and accessories to a kimono; it's difficult for someone like myself, from outside of the culture to understand the symbolic meaning behind these features.

Going against the trend in Japan for Western/Christian-style weddings Taka and Natsumi opted for a traditional Shinto ceremony which was spectacular in the most quiet, unassuming way.  While I didn't understand a word, I could appreciate the ritual, the solemnity of the rite.  The garments of the priest and his assistants were a brilliant complement and contrast to the bright vermilion-colored wood of the shrine.

The reception and an amazing kaiseki meal followed.  No disrespect to the couples whose weddings I've attended over the years, but this really puts the typical American "chicken or beef" options to shame.  This was one exquisite course followed by another followed by another over about four hours.

Like an American wedding there was the ritual circulation of the wedding party around the room where they welcomed guests and poured sake and beer.  But this was all done at floor level, shuffling around on one's knees.  In fact the whole event was done at the height of an Ozu "tatami shot".  The beautiful bride did not/could not participate in this movement.  The kimono, however graceful and flowing it may appear, is a fairly restrictive garment.  I think the uchikake worn by brides is even more difficult to move about in.  Natsumi literally had a sort of handmaid attending to her the whole day.

Once the main courses were finished there was time for diversions.  Taka and Natsumi had assembled a very clever animated video of their courtship.  That was followed by some sensational karaoke by the bride, groom and their parents.  Then Natsumi brought the house to tears with a speech thanking her parents for everything.  This is where language comprehension is unnecessary because it is raw emotion that does the communicating.  I was teary-eyed myself without understanding anything other than arigato.

This is a day I will not soon forget.  I can't begin to express my gratitude to Taka and Natsumi for including me in such a special occasion.  A wedding is an extremely personal event.  Even the biggest celebrities try to keep it intimate.  I feel like today I somehow went to the deepest part of Japan.  I could live here 20 or 30 years and always be a gaijin, but today I felt a part of something.  Arigato gozaimas.